Rat Tart with SPAM....

Greetings Programs....(Awww Come on, you KNEW I was going to say it at least ONCE)

     So today's topic is, of course, Rat Tart.....no wait, that's not right. Let me check my notes.....

Notes: Kill this stupid recruiter who emailed me the same email from 5 accounts

Right, today's topic for our recruiters is SPAM. What it is, why geeks hate is as much as you do and most importlantly, why deleting the email only removes the mail from our inbox and not our opinion of you from our memories. (And trust me, geeks can hold a grudge)

So in case you weren't aware. There are three types of emails from recruiters.

1. Job offers that match our resume's and our skillsets
2. Legitimate requests from recruiters who undnerstand our skill set and ask us honestly if we know someone.
3. The rest of the CRAP in our inbox

I received 13 emails today about the same job. And I will tell you that not one of them was referencing a skill set I either currently have or one I have had in the past. There is nothing in my past, present, or future that says I am a Java developer (see my earlier post on javascript vs. Java). And yet, I received 13 emails from 4 different companies. The 5 mentioned above, 5 more, and then three from 3 different recruiters whop worked at the same company.

To all you recruiters who Spam and call and just don't seem to give a damn as long as we have the right keywords....here's a hint...very few people what to be completely identified as a skillset. I am more than the sum of my nerdy knowledge, and most importantly...if I feel you are just throwing my resume at the wall to see what sticks....trust me, it won't be me.

Have a good night all and check back on this post. I may have some suggestions when I am not so tired.

How do I find thee, let me count the ways.....

Good evening all, (or however many of you there are)

     So I started writing this Blog to help give advice and translate to recruiters from the geeks point of view and to geeks from the recruiters. But tonight it's going to be different. Tonight it's questions and answer time.

     You see, in the last few weeks, I have learned a couple of things.

1. If you want to be good at it, recruiting is hard and can be a bit lonely
2. I know a lot of geeks but not nearly enough to "instantly" have someone for "any" job
3. Recruiting is a lot more like coding than I believed
4. I am not above begging

Let's address these points in order here and maybe this will still give both you geeks and you recruiters some food for thought.

Recruiting is Hard
     So for the last few weeks I have been trying to find a few someone's for a few different positions. I will mention some specifics when the time is right. Essentially, I spend my day looking at job requisitions. And then going thought multiple systems trying to find someone to match the description. I know what you are thinking, "So what's so hard about that?" Well it comes down to something I have mentioned before....Job Requisitions and poor feedback. You see I get job orders all the time for the equivelent of a 45 year old never been married man's dating profile.....

     SWM in search of SWF I am 5'6" 225 lbs of wonderful guy looking for Ms. Right. She should be single (not divorced, not seperated but single) 5'6 to 5'9" and HWP (but not weighing over 120 lbs.) between the ages of 20 and 45 (though she should look 25....really) who is a yoga or aerobics instructor. An intelligent woman who is looking for a guy who really wants someone to take care of him just like mom does...er...did. BTW, about mom. You will like her, she keeps mostly to her part of the house and leaves me alone when I am in my basement love nest........etc

   When we get jobs it's because the employer has already posted it on Monster, Careerbuilder, Dice et al. and not like what they got for submissions. The employer has also likely looked on every board and talked to at least half their staff to see if anyone "knows" anyone. Thus, anyone usually "looking" has already been found. Now it's time to pick through the hard way and search in a way that wasn't thought of before. I'm not saying all recruiters do this....I get plenty of Spam Mass Generated email for my skills as a BSA...but the good ones do. BTW, if a good one writes and asks you for help....they mean it, they could use your help. So even if you don't know anyone do us a favor, write us back and just tell us, "sorry don't know anyone" sometimes it helps just to know our emails are going through (That's the lonely part)

I know a lot of geeks but....
     So I will admit it here and now. I am hoping my blog get's shared and whole bunches of people either look me up on Linked In or sign my guestbook or post comments or whatever. Why? Because in this age of personal seperation, where kids stay inside and text each other instead of going over to one another's house and TALKING to each other, I have learned one important thing......It's as much WHO you know as WHAT you know.

    So yes I want to be introduced to all sorts of people in all sorts of skill sets and all over the place. And I want to "link up" with you or "friend" you or whatever. Why, because in this day and age of no corporate loyalty, there is nothing better to have in your back pocket than a recruiter. Especially one who knows geek and wouldn't submit you if he didn't know you were a fit <looks shyly away, humbly digging toe in the sand>.

Recruiting and Coding
Have you ever spent all your time and energy and every little bit of creative juice you had on getting a miraculous peice of code implemented or even worse, spent FOREVER on a project that went all the way to pilot and then was never released......yeah? See my previous post (Top Ten List: #5) and you will understand that the pain exists in EVERY field having to do with IT.

BEGGING TIME
Okay everyone who reads this, I can really use your help. Please check my Linked In account for my most urgent need at this time. Since the interenet is forever (even longer when it comes to certain celebrity video tapes) I am not going to put my current need's into this post just click on the link below to be taken to my linked in and read my most recent job positions. Also, send ALL your friends the link to my blog if you find any of my musings in any way interesting.....and send THEM my Linked In account as well.....

• My Linked In Account

Yeah that's enough begging....I just found some dignity in my frony jeans pocket and I think I'll keep it....No Wait....I was wrong....If you are in my network and you actually have something nice to say about me....how about a recommendation? Okay, Dignity is all gone....see you later this week.

No seriously.....we didn't forget about you.....A "TOP 10" list

Good evening all,
    So I planned to write this blog 2 to 3 days a week. Instead I have written 2 times in about 3 weeks, DAMN!!! I would like to blame real life, but I can't. I can blame poor planning and not knowing what to do next. And speaking of those two things.....welcome to tonight's topic.....No, I didn't forget about you or as I like to call it: "What The H**L do you honestly thing I DON'T want you to be working?!?!?!?!?" Most recruiters (I am kind of a special case) get paid a bonus for putting you to work

So I have sat on the other side of the recruiting fence now for about 5 months and one thing I have learned about is why all these jobs recruiters used to call me about just seem to disappear. And I know I sound like a whiny five year old when I say this but: "It's not my fault!!!"

Jobs come and go guys and girls and below are a few reasons why, some we can do something about and some we can't. So below, find my top ten list (actually there's only 6) for why a recruiter can call you about a job and then never get back to you.

<Cue Paul Shaffer Music>

Number 6: The position wasn't clearly defined
So here is the first little bit of insider knowledge for you geeks out there. If you get a job description that looks like it could fill more than one or at most two skillsets, it means that the client "THINKS" they want X.

Client thinking is often overrated, ask for details. If none are forthcoming, think of this position as a "nice to have".

Number 5: It's all about the money honey!!
So do you know when your companies fiscal year starts and ends. Don't bet on it. Fiscal's can start and end at any time of the year. So if you get a call at the end of March, and then you don't hear anything about a job it could be that the Fiscal year starts in April and it turns out that the job lost funding. You can get mad at us or mad at the company but it's not really there fault, these things happen

If you think, "Well heck, I would NEVER expect to have money for a job and then have it disappear" Let me ask you this, "What are YOU spending YOUR tax refund on this year....I planned on a new flat screen....turns out I should have planned on writing a check to someone who doesn't sell flat screens and only buys them at $15k a pop for the airforce"

Number 4: I forgot my wallet
That's right kids, the excuse that I have heard from female friends that guys use all the time on dates can also apply to corporations. Sometimes a company will come to us and say "We want X" and we tell them our fee for finding X. And they say....."great, no problem....I can't wait to try out a 5 star Michelin restaur"....oh wait that's back to the guys and wallets thing.....They say, " great, no problem we are happy to pay "$Y" to you to get us the right person." We often here this from IT Managers....let me tell you something kids.....NO ONE LET'S IT MANAGERS HAVE CHECKBOOKS. Trust me, if the IT manager had the checkbook at your current company, you'd have a LOT more espresso stations and Jolt machines in the office and you would be happier, though likely not for the long haul.

Number 3: Salespeople run our lives
That's right folks you talk to us, and we are often (almost always) not the ones who get the job orders. You see, when we get a job order in from the Business development guys, they have us start working on it right away. Why? Becaise, despite the fact that High School's are producing kids that can do work in Flash and Silverlight that I never dreamed of, does not make geeks an unlimited resource. For every job, there are a few of you and a lot of us.....so they get us started right away....kind of on spec....Business development people are sales people, and therefore optimistic. Yeah well.....optimism is great. Always look on the bright side....even if your head is firmly up your......nevermind, I have to work with these folks

Number 2: The Island of Doctor Moreau
This is kind of linked with the whole job description too general thing, but this actually happens more often then I care to admit. Have you ever read how the Beast Folk were created in HG Wells story? Well welcome to the vivisection and splicing era of the job market.Alot of the time the job order we get is a hybrid.

 For 3 years, unemployment has hovered near or above 10% and that means that companies have gotten used to asking for a lot from thier potential employees and if those candidates we send over don't exactly match, well tough. But at the same time, the companies don't want to lose out on the posibilty of good people just IN CASE they don't find the perfect match. Thus we don't know whether you are still being considered or now.

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WE HAVEN'T CALLED YOU BACK
No One at the company is telling us a bloody damned thing. That's right all, we get blown off too and a lot more often then you think. Remember, these people who are interviewing you and writing your job description and telling us who to contact for a phone screen.....they have REAL jobs at these places, and 95% of the time those jobs do not involve hiring people.....so please be a little patient....those managers not only have to read your resume and set up your interview etc. etc. Their bosses also insist they do thier actual day to day jobs as well (Stoopid bosses)

Okay, so that's my "top ten" list for why we might not be calling you back as quickly as you (or we for that matter) would like. Remember, when a job is assigned to us, it's listed as OURS. That means,  to our bosses, if we don't fill it then guess who our bosses blame (actually my boss is pretty cool about it, if the reason is good). Remember that we WANT you to be working. Even if we don't get paid bonuses for placing people (and again, most recruiters do), we want you to be working because we want the feeling of knowing we helped connect you and a good job together.

Trust me, I don't do recruiting for the money. If I want to make money, I'll go and be a BSA/PM or go back to being a programmer again. I like people, and I like them more than I like computers. And I like feeling like I have done some good with my day. Real or imagined, I walk away from my job every day knowing that I at least TRIED to do something that will help someone get a job and feel useful....in my world, it's been woth the pay cut.

Night folks And remember, the opinions expressed in this blog are my own personal opinions and do not represent those of my employer or my co-workers.

Though that being said, I'd love to hear from some of you other recruiters and even you candidates. Anyone want to add to my list, make a comment below

The search goes on, but why are you looking at me?

     So I have been recruiting for a little while now and yet I still also have a BSA resume out on the web (Carreerbuilder and Monster), and all too often I get a request from a recruiter who is asking me to do Java development or DBA work or some other job that is so vaguely associated with my skill set as a geek that I wonder why they decided to write to me. Then, after about 10 minutes of looking at my own resume, I figure out what has happened.

** Let me put this in Standardized Test form:

Java is to Javascript as:

a.) Oracle is to Database
b.) C# is to OOP
c.) UML is to diagram
d.) Charlie Sheen is to Emilio Estevez

    The answer is D, though they have some similarities and more or less come from the same place (both are owned by Oracle now, both came out in 1995) one is REALLY different from the other and they don't like to be mistaken for each other. Geeks would be happy for JS to still go by LiveScript for the same reason Emillio is glad his brother doesn't go by Carlos Irwin Estevez, because it's damned embarassing when other people get confused.

Now those of you who are reading this may be saying to yourselves, "Well yeah, you are a geek, you automatically know that" and I will answer, "No, well not really"

    You see, I know the difference between Java and Javascript, that is for sure. I would look at Java code and only have a vague idea what was going on, unlike with Javascript which I understood since I HAD to, as I was doing a lot of web programming.

    But what I diddn't know until now was how to describe the difference between Java and Javascript so that a non-programmer would understand it. Where did I find that information....why the font of some of the worst misinformation on the planet......wikipedia.org.

     I know what you are thinking, and yes Wikipedia has more half truths and rumors than Survivor, The Bachelor, and Insert reality show name here (sorry, I really am a geek and 2 reality show names is my limit) When it comes to the history of Geekdom, however, Wikipedia is pretty reliable. After all, it was built by geeks. Geeks may not care about American History or Pop Culture, but we do want everyone to know where we came from (probably because we spent our teens being told we came from Mars by our then peers)

So recruiters next time you get a job req, that reads something like this:

Client X needs a SQL DBA who has strong experience in UDB and DB2 with multiple years of Crystal and can administer a MOSS Server while programming in RedHat....etc. etc. Look up some of those terms...you will find that:

MOSS = Sharepoint
UDB - IS an SQL (Structured Query Language) Database If a DBA only has MSSQL he can still likely do it, he just won't want to
RedHat - is a Linux Server (scripting yes, programming no (shut up any Open Source geeks reading this, you know what I mean))

     All these things can be found within the first Paragraph or two of Wikipedia articles on these technologies. Take a minute and read, then go and find your Business Development person (or whoever took the order) and give them a meaningful glare while requesting they get some more information from the customer. Trust me, you'll spin your wheels a lot less and don't forget, if you have a question.....ask. You can even ask me, I'll answer. I Promise.

Welcome to the Monkey House......

Hi there and thanks for coming to my little space on the web. I know I covered this in the description but the blog looked so empty with no posts whatsoever and I haven't had a chance to decide what the first thing I want to talk about is, so I thought I would add to the garbage on the internet and put up a placeholder. Come back soon and we'll talk. I plan on posting two to three times a week minimum. Once for the Geek side and once for the recruiter side. And perhaps once for both sides.